Can anyone help me to understand please?
I don't know if I am a bit emotional when it comes to the "successful single lady" issue - I have sisters who are really really doing well in their careers but not yet married and they are 30++ yrs old...
What is it so hard for people to understand that it is not their decision to still be single until now? Yes, they do want to settle down (maybe the time, the Mr/Miss right is yet to be met, the constraints, etc etc)... What right does the society has to be thinking that they don't want to??
Why can't people accept that it is OK, PERFECTLY OK for them
1. to manage things on their own (they are not disable... so don't treat them like one...)
2. to have a mind of their own (just because they are single, doesn't mean they can't think!)
3. to have their own circle of friends (who are honest, loyal and trustworthy friends)
4. to do what they like (they can be a book worm, a crazy computer geek, an activist, a social worker etc)
5. to be weird (other people do crazy weird stuff too....)
6. to be difficult sometimes (don't we all do that?)
So single successful ladies and men out there.... tell me... please enlighten me..... I am just "running" out of ideas to justify for your rights to just be who you are !
Worried @ confuse @ uncertain @ still-trying-to-get-to-the-root
Note : this entry is not targetted to anyone... just a mere letting-out-my-frustration session
10 comments:
pedulikan kata org... kalau nak fikir what others think sampai sudah x abis... :)
I'm single, in my 30's & successful (i guess!). I've been labelled materialistic juz bcoz I asked what kind of car you drive (coz I run out topics la dear), fussy (coz I'm picky when it come to eating veges), cakap omputeh je (coz I jz came back from the office where the medium of communication is English what!) blablabah..and it's not my decision to stay single (qada' & qadar dari Tuhan). What we need are just people like you who are happily married but still trying to understand us (& don't try to matchmake coz honestly I'm tired of it)...heheheh!!
Naddy, that is one of my "common" advises to my sis... sometimes when she was talking to me about "the single lady syndrom", and she know I was about to say that "don't-pay-attention-to-what-people-say", she will give me that "I-know-what-you-are-about-to-say" look... and that hurt me the most!
Rad, hi & thanks for sharing your views & experience... trust me, I have had it with all the "matchmake activities"... my mom (and also my dad sometimes) is a pro at doing that, I have to end up becoming the "justice of peace".. when mother & daughter no longer on talking term becoz of the "not-working-arrangement"... Life is not easy ehhh?? Who said life of a married-sister is forever happy? We can never be "truly" happy, until our "supposedly-married-long-time-ago" sisters are married!
err...
I thought I left a comment here semalam.
hilang.....
hmm.... dok kena makan tikus, kot.
Anyway, I meant to say......
"I can't comment on this post since I am no longer in the singleston".
hee hee
On a serious note.
There's nothing wrong with it.
Chart your life the way you want it and make full use out of it. My regards to your sister. She's one wonder woman.
P.s :
Your sister and Zetty should have a chat (see Zetty's blog).
Lanie, the comment must have been eaten by my "mouse" hehehe.. I will convey your regard.. Yes, both my sisters are strong ladies.. they can face just about everything!
Calling Zetty, your comment is most welcome!
Everyone should be happy with their status. It's not the boundary to achieve something they could. :)
I'm sorry.. what's wrong with being single and it is my decision to be single?
sorry, calling2 lambat sampai...tgh roaming la kot heheh.
Neways, personally i feel there are two type of single woman. First, the one yg tak kisah jadik single and the second one memang tak nak jadik single.
I am in the second group.
Kot boleh sapa nak jadik single sampai mati kan. I mean, sapa nak balik rumah to an empty house. Bila nak cerita problem ke apa, nak share dreams...nak cakap ngan dinding? Then to make it worse, semua kengkawan lain dah kawin pulak. True this is not a race tgk sapa kawin dulu, but this is a natural feelings untuk mencintai dan dicintai.
Tension tu.
Nak kata choosy...well, takkan nak main rembat jek kot mana2 lelaki yg kita jumpa tepi jalan. Kot dapat lelaki yg tak stable emotionally and financially...tu mcm menjerat diri sendiri. Cukup la jika cukup utk menyara family, menyediakan tempat tinggal and the most important thing, bagi kasih sayang dan perhatian yg secukupnya. Bukan tak boleh share expenses kan. Tak mintak pun baglo sebijik pun.
Kot dapat, alhamdulillah la kan.
Nak ambik laki orang memang tak sanggup sebab most women yg dah sampai tahap macam ni lebih panjang akalnya, more matured. Tak sampai hati nak melukakan kaum sendiri.
Orang semua pandai kritik jek, tak pikir beban yg kitaorg tanggung. Like I mentioned in my blog, org semua boleh cakap kesian...tapi dlm hati mmg lega coz you are not in our shoes.
Panjang la pulak makcik membebel kan. hehe, mintak diri dulu.
Saifulrizan - Exactly. But why can't my parents live with that? why they have to worry so much about what people say?
Anonymous - you are right! nothing wrong, it's just them.. not you.. Thks for droping by
Zetty - thank you for the "disebalik tabir" version. I can feel the honesty in you guys. I am trying so had to understand and at the same time, do the "backing up" statement for my sis & friends as well. This dilema about being single and successful is a never-ending story in our society, unless we can all acknowledge and accept that we are just human trying our best but it's GOD who decide finally what's the best for us!
hullo hullo kimi ... itu pasal memang itu "favorite past time" of our society ... tak kahwin, kenapa tak kahwin ; dah kahwin bila nak ada anak ; tak de anak ko cari bini lain ; dah ada anak apasal ko mak nya tak berenti kerje jaga anak je ... ayaaaa memang banyak fenin. we just provide moral support for those we love who are still waiting for the right moment for the right MR kan kan kan.
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